If you’re talking about the best movies of the 2000s, Legally Blonde is undoubtedly going to come up. The iconic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon has everything a great movie needs — a good story, great characters, an adorable dog side-kick, a fantastic cast, and of course, quotable dialogue. To say that it was a good time going through the movie to seek out the absolute best quotes from the 2001 hit would be an understatement. So let’s get into it…
“And you didn’t just get it in, I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. So if you’re trying to sell it to me for full price, you picked the wrong girl.”
If you assume Elle is ditzy and an easy mark to be taken advantage of, you’re in for a rude awakening. The saleswoman at the dress shop learns this lesson the hard way when she tries to lie about a dress she’s showing Elle. Big mistake. Huge! Wait, sorry, wrong movie.
“So you’re breaking up with me because I’m too blonde?!”
Warner (Matthew Davis) begins their supposedly romantic dinner out by breaking up with Elle. He makes it even worse when he reminds her of his Senate aspirations, and informs her that he needs to marry a Jackie, not a Marlyn. And Elle is justifiably outraged.
“Law school’s for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, Button, are none of those things.”
While some parents would be thrilled to learn their child had aspirations of attending law school, Elle’s parents are baffled that she would want to abandon the momentum she’s built as first runner-up at the Miss Hawaiian Tropic competition in order to attend a school where the people are — according to Mr. Woods — boring, ugly and serious.
“I once had to judge a tighty whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.”
While her advisor seems dubious that Elle is up for the challenge of getting into Harvard Law School, Elle is quick to draw on her past trials as a reminder of what she’s capable of.
“You mean like on vay-cay? Let’s all go. Road trip!”
Of course Elle’s friends — Margot (Jessica Cauffiel) and Serena (Alanna Ubach) — are instantly excited when she announces that she’s going to Harvard. But that’s largely due to their incorrect assumption that she was talking about a vacation. Still, gotta love the support!
“I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.”
Elle’s college admissions video is full of her usual pep, but she also makes sure to show off her lawyery side, including her comfort in using legal jargon, like objecting when someone whistles at her.
“She was in a Ricky Martin video…”
We barely have a chance to recover from Elle’s amazing admissions video when we’re brought into the room where the Harvard admissions board is reviewing it and… well, they don’t know quite what to make of Elle Woods, but I like to think the Dean of Admissions was coming from a place of impressed approval when he pointed out that Elle was in a Ricky Martin video.
“Hi. Woods Comma Elle?”
This line gets me every time. When Elle arrives at Harvard, she approaches the registration table as though she’s checking into a hotel (or as the guy she speaks to suggests, a cruise ship). She even introduces herself last-name-first, and includes the comma for good measure.
“Hi. I’m Elle Woods, and this is Bruiser Woods, and we’re both Gemini vegetarians.”
It was a choice between this line and the anecdote Elle shares about talking Cameron Diaz out of purchasing a heinous angora sweater. As much as I love her laughing off the idea that orange is the new pink in this scene, this list needs a Bruiser (Moonie) quote, so let’s go with the one where Elle introduces herself and her dog as Gemini vegetarians.
“What, like it’s hard?”
It’s obvious that her first run-in with Warner at Harvard is important, and Elle manages to nail every moment of it. That includes acting delightfully nonchalant when Warner is disbelieving that she could get into Harvard Law school.
“Warner told me all about you. You’re famous at our club.”
Elle is visibly thunderstruck at the realization that Warner not only already has a new girlfriend, but she’s also his fiancé. Meanwhile Vivian (Selma Blair) is already well aware of Elle, and in addition to showing off the giant diamond engagement ring she’s wearing, points out that Elle is “famous” at their club. That doesn’t sound like a good thing.
“I even hired a Coppola to direct my admissions video.”
After learning that Warner is engaged, Elle laments about everything she went through to get into Harvard just to get him back. That apparently includes hiring a notable director to make that admissions video.
“I changed my mind. I’d pick the dangerous one, because I’m not afraid of a challenge.”
Elle is down numerous times throughout Legally Blonde, but she never stays down for long. After processing the fact that Warner is engaged, she regroups and decides that this is just one more challenge to face. As she makes it clear to Vivian during one of their law classes, she’s not afraid of challenges.
“I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be.”
It’s devastating, the way Elle looks when she realizes that nothing she does is ever going to be good enough for Warner. That emotion shifts to determination, however, as she storms out of Vivian’s party in her bunny costume with one goal in mind — to show them all.
“I’m taking the dog.”
Elle’s friendship with Paulette (Jennifer Coolidge) is one of the many things that makes this movie as lovable as it is. Not only is it great to see Elle have some support when everyone else doubts or dislikes her, but she provides support to Paulette, and helps her get her dog back from her terrible ex.
“Oh, and it’s scented. I think it gives it a little something extra, don’t you think?”
By this point in the movie, Elle is already proving she has what to takes to run at or beyond the pace of her fellow law students. So it’s no surprise that she has a resume ready when Professor Callahan (Victor Garber) suggests she apply for his internship. And of course it’d be pink and scented. Even on paper, Elle Woods will stand out.
“You think she just woke up one morning and said, I think I’ll go to law school today.”
It’s impossible not to laugh at the way Professor Callahan and Emmett (Luke Wilson) stare at Elle as she walks away, completely baffled by everything about her. Making everything look effortless is part of Elle’s charm, but we all know how hard she worked to get to this point in the story.
“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just dont!”
Elle’s logic when expressing her disbelief that the client they’re representing, Brooke (Ali Larter), could have killed her husband is practically airtight, right? Ok, maybe endorphins aren’t a guarantee of innocence, but she’s not wrong to immediately reject the idea that Brooke is guilty.
“In my experience, it has a 98% success rate of getting a man’s attention, and when used appropriately, it has an 83% return rate on a dinner invitation.”
That Elle is more intelligent than she lets on is apparent from the start of Legally Blonde, but it’s little moments like this — when she’s explaining the success-rate of her “Bend and Snap” move — that remind us of just how brainy she can be.
“Well, forget it. I’ve already spent too many hours crying over you!”
There’s a moment earlier in the film, when Elle’s in her working-hard montage, that we see David Kidney (Oz Perkins) help Elle out by retrieving a book from a high shelf. I like to think that that small moment of kindness stuck with Elle, or maybe she would’ve done this anyway: When Elle overhears a woman turning David down (in a really rude way), she quickly steps in, not to defend him, but to slap him and pretend to be a scorned woman who took forever to get over him after their amazing night together. Of course, the woman he’s talking to immediately sees him in a new light.
“His father had to make a call.”
Since they’re both among the students picked for Callahan’s internship, Elle and Vivian begin to bond. That includes this scene, where Vivian secretly reveals to Elle that Warner got waitlisted when he applied to Harvard Law, and only got in after his father made a call. Well, well, well.
“I blew it, Elle. My snap was all over the place!”
Poor Paulette tried the bend-and-snap move on the dreamy UPS Guy (Bruce Thomas), and it went horribly wrong. Yeah, she bent just fine, but her snap involved a head-butt to UPS Guy’s face. Disaster!
“But don’t worry, my girlfriend Serena once barfed on a guy during the Blair Witch Project and they ended up dating for three months.”
Elle’s logic never fails. When Paulette laments about her disastrous bend-and-snap situation, Elle tells her about the time Serena’s stomach couldn’t handle the Blair Witch Project, and things still worked out for her and the guy she was dating (for a few months anyway).
“And your boyfriend’s name is?” “Chuck.”
After Callahan disregards Elle’s suspicion that Enrique was unlikely to be having an affair with Brooke because he’s gay, Emmett takes the suggestion into the cross examination, and quickly gets Enrique to slip up when he asks him the name of his boyfriend. Which is Chuck.
“You’re fired. I have new representation.”
Elle had every reason to want to leave Callahan’s internship, after he made an inappropriate move on her. Fortunately, word gets around to the right people, and that includes Brooke, who is happy to fire Callahan as her attorney and bring on Elle and Emmett as her legal representation.
“Oh, look how cute, there’s like a judge and everything!” “And jury people.”
Of course Serena and Margot aren’t going to miss Elle’s big moment as a trial attorney. The duo show up just in time, and make a big scene when they see the judge and jury. “Vote for Elle!”
“I didn’t mean to shoot him, I thought t was YOU walking through the door!”
Elle gets off to an awkward start when she begins her questions to Chutney (Linda Cardellini), but she gets her footing quickly when Chutney mentions getting a perm before taking a shower. From there, Elle shifts her line of questioning in a successful attempt to discredit Chutney’s proposed timeline of events. Still, no one could’ve expected that Chutney would crack under the pressure and confess to killing her father.
“Oh, my god.” “Oh, my god.” “Oh, my god.”
As if the moment Chutney confesses couldn’t be more perfect, it’s soon followed by several reactions that are pretty much the same — “Oh, my god.” That includes the judge (played by Francesca P. Roberts), who seems floored at what Elle was able to do in just a few moments.
“Oh, Warner. I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. But I’m gonna be a partner at a lawfirm by the time I’m thirty, I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.”
It’s been clear for a while at this point that Elle’s not doing all of this to impress Warner. So it’s not entirely surprising that the moment he tries to get her back, after her big court victory, she turns him down in brutal fashion. But it’s no less satisfying to watch. She’s got bigger dreams now than being his wife.
“Warner… Do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub after winter formal? This is so much better than that!”
When Elle learns she’s landed a spot among Callahan’s interns, she’s quick to point out that this victory is even better than those hours they shared in a hot tub one time.
“Warner? I totally forgot you go here!”
I love the way Elle delivers this line. Upon running into Warner in the halls of one of the Harvard buildings, she reacts as though Harvard is just a place people go, like it’s a high school or something.
“My cousin had that. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your…”
When Elle tells her friends she’s planning to take the LSATs, Serena mistakes the law school exam for some kind of medical condition her cousin once got. Fortunately, the LSATs are just an exam.
