Review: The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power – Season 2, Episode II, “Where the Stars are Strange”

Review: The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power – Season 2, Episode II, “Where the Stars Are Strange”

***Disclaimer: Contains spoilers***

Episode 2 begins with Galadriel and Elrond, the only character in the show who has any sense of humor. The two are arguing, with Elrond scolding her for being so easily manipulated by Sauron and now doing the same to Gil-galad.

Back to the dwarves. Durin IV and Durin III have argued, and the latter has rejected Durin for not being with him. Disa and Durin are buying food at a market, where they argue about “tightening their purse strings” before a sudden earthquake strikes. The giant bridge collapses, and the tunnels letting in light (which helps them grow their food) are cut off, plunging the entire city into darkness.

The scene changes and Galadriel has a hallucination in which she is talking to Celebrimbor, who says he has had a “most interesting visitor.” Oh, who could that possibly be?? Then, suddenly, vines begin to crawl and grow along the ground, making their way up to Celebrimbor and everything turns red. He then begins reciting the first few lines from the beginning of the poem lord of the rings,

Three rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

For the seven dwarf-lords in their stone halls,

Nine mortal men who are doomed to die.

The incident then flashes back to Galadriel in a meeting where, emerging from her stupor, still twirling her ring, she hears a line: “It would be wise to attack Adar from the east.”

Gil-galad addresses her as “Commander” again, to which she replies that they should send ships to attack from the west. This woman has absolutely no idea how to lead an army. Stop pretending. After the meeting is adjourned and everyone else leaves, the king then says, and this is an actual line of dialogue from the show, “One doesn't need eagle eyes to see that your ideas have flown too far.”

So poetic, like Tolkien's effortlessly beautiful prose…

After that extremely disturbing R rolling, Galadriel worries that Sauron has reached Eregion, to which Gil-galad reassures her that it's well-protected by rivers and thick stone walls. Oh yeah, that'll keep the Dark Lord out, all right. She caresses her ring again, then tells the king that after wearing the ring, she can see visions of possible futures. The answer is another repurposed line the Fellowship of the Ring When Frodo speaks to Galadriel in her mirror: “The Ring has awakened your ability to see that hasn't happened yet,

Then suddenly Gil-galad becomes an expert on Sauron and explains how he too can see the visions and knows how cunning Sauron is. For these reasons Galadriel is told not to seek out Sauron, but, of course, she comes back with her answer: “He knows my mind, and I know his mind. So I must face him.” And she goes on to say how “I alone can kill him.” Yeah, we know how much you want to “kill” him…

However, they reach an agreement that Galadriel will only be allowed to confront Sauron if she has someone with her.

Now, in Eregion, a strange maid goes out to meet Helbrand/Sauron and tells him that under no circumstances will Celebrimbor speak to him and that he must leave. When Helbrand/Sauron turns his back on her, she sees that he is injured, and once back inside, she uses this to convince Celebrimbor to allow her entry, yet, and thank god, Celebrimbor understands and refuses. There is a random line before the scene changes, saying, “Messages from Lindon may arrive any day,” which makes one wonder how he knows this information, but it is only to remind the audience of the messenger sent earlier by Gil-galad, who now lies dead, the message having been destroyed… guess who?? Insert a short still shot of Helbrand smiling

Then it comes to the Easterlings in Rhone. This introduces the dark wizard character, who is unnamed, yet some people can't help but think of Saruman Two towers. A ritual is performed with the blood that brings back… guess who's back?? Back again?? Feminem!! Oh, and there are the moths; remember them? Feminem tells the Dark Wizard that Sauron is gaining power and has a new form, yet she says nothing about “the Stranger” when, after this, she says, “The Stranger will soon use his power.”

If you know all this, why bring him back? Especially after his line, “The blood I wasted to bring you before me was spent on more useful servants.” If he knew this already, why waste the blood?? Then the Masked Man, who we have seen tracking down the Harfoots and the Stranger/Totally Not Gandalf, steps forward and says that he can bring the Stranger back, provided he (the Dark Wizard) “cures the curse on his body.”

What curse?? And the Dark Wizard doubts it, basically saying, what can an ordinary mortal do? Oh, and he says, “Acolyte.”

Poppy and Nori try to guess the stranger/Totally Not Gandalf's name by calling out names at random. After a while, he replies, “Nobody can name you. It's already yours.” Ummm… who wants to tell him? People are named after other people. Parents name their children; otherwise, nobody has a name. Suddenly, they hear horse hooves, and they scatter to hide. Poppy and Nori hide under a cloak-like cloth, which shows them looking through the material on their trackers. Sound familiar?? Like when Sam fell down the hill, and Frodo ran after him, and they hid from the Easterlings under the Elven cloak, which blends into any environment? Remember that??

Upon returning to Khazad-dûm, there is no light anymore, which kills the plants, and now the dwarves are on the verge of starving to death. Since when did the dwarves become vegetarians? Disa and some other female dwarves are tasked with “singing to help them find safe passage”. But the singing causes the last tunnel that was flowing with light to collapse, plunging everything into even more darkness, leaving the dwarves suddenly disoriented. After this, Disa appears before the king and literally scolds him for not talking to his son. Durin III is about to do something he's never done before, mining with the other dwarves, and the others mock him for his incompetence. A quarrel ensues, and later, when he comes home, he and Disa argue… about food.

Now, let's return to Elrond in the Grey Havens; this continues the first scene at the beginning of the episode – which, after all, why start with a snippet, then bring up the rest later?? He's sanding wood when Galadriel appears to try to convince him to go to Eregion with her. He's not allowed to go alone unless there's someone trustworthy to go with him. Elrond is reluctant, and even admits he was deceived after the “Commander of the Northern Armies” says, quote, “In her hand, I was played like a harp, twanging a tune not of my choosing.” To which Elrond replies, “That was entirely your choice.”

Elrond. Respect. He's my favorite in this whole awful show; he's the only one who makes any sense!

After this, Elrond goes to Círdan for advice, who is now shown shaving with what looks like a fancy seashell. The shipwright suddenly appears to be under some influence when he is supposed to be the wisest of all, yet this character is only about as wise as the writers of this show, which is not at all. They basically twist Gandalf's “The One Ring” argument that if he (Gandalf) keeps the ring, even if for the supposed good, he will become a tyrant. The argument here is that beautiful things should not be feared, even if they have power. These rings aren't even “The One Ring,” yet they are being portrayed as corrupt and alluring in the same way. Funny because “The One Ring” corruption is based on shell shock, or PTSD as it is now known, experienced by men during WWI, in which Tolkien himself fought.

Back east to the Harfoots. They have found a well and attached an alarm to it, so that whenever anyone goes to fetch water, the bell on top rings. When Poppy “Female Sam” is fetching water for herself, the bell rings, the stranger finds a staff that looks very similar to the one he saw in his dreams and he picks it up. Immediately, or rather because these foolish Harfoots made noise with their stupid alarm system, the Easterlings hunting them appear and attack. Stranger/Not Quite Gandalf creates a giant dust devil with his newly obtained staff, yet he still cannot control its powers; thus, everyone except him is blown away by the force of the wind. Dandalf's staff also shatters in the same manner the Fellowship of the Ring When he faced the Balrog in Moria.

Back in Eregion (at night), Celebrimbor asks his random maid if Helbrand/Sauron is still in town. The random maid replies, “The night is cold; shall I bring him a shawl?” Girl, you'll make Galadriel jealous by getting on with your man. He killed an ice troll in less than a minute, you know. Celebrimbor finally goes to meet Helbrand/Sauron and tells him to leave, to which the reply is, “He said you would say that.”

By “he”, Celebrimbor means Galadriel and asks if he (Helbrand/Sauron) has spoken to her, and she replies, “You have not?”

They have a pretty pointless conversation that's hardly worth repeating, but it leads to Celebrimbor allowing Helbrand/Sauron inside, where the latter is fed while the former rants and raves about how the rings “saved them”, by taking out the disease from the trees that was so terrible in the first season. Then Helbrand/Sauron asks Celebrimbor to forge the rings for the race of men, but, of course, the latter hesitates, saying, “Men are not elves.” It's funny, though, because in the books, Celebrimbor is a very complex, interesting character who had no help in forging the rings, yet she's turned into a sentimental old queen in this bastard of an “adaptation.”

Then, suddenly, Helbrand/Sauron vanishes and emerges from the furnace, looking just like Jesus (totally intentional), and reveals himself as Annatarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, “Shareer of Gifts.” Yes, he rolls the R's when he speaks his name and essentially tells Celebrimbor how bad he is, and the fool gets right with it, believing that Annatar is a being sent from the Valar.

The final scene is between Gil-galad and Galadriel, who has been summoned to meet him. The king tells her that he has given her permission to go to Celebrimbor on the condition that she take with her “five of his bravest elves.” When she thanks him for reconsidering, Gil-galad says that it was not his job, and the camera shows Elrond standing next to him. He is tasked with not only accompanying but also leading the group.

Come on Elrond; stay strong; don't give up; hold the line!!! However, I think Gayladriel will reestablish herself as “Commander” and take over this whole thing. Stupid cow. Stupid writer. This show is stupid. I forgot to mention how awful the costumes in the movie were. rings of power And the people they chose to play the elves don't look like elves at all.